4 Steps to Get Rid of Negative Self Talk

claire

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“I hope I can remember to cue the same on the left as I did on the right,” I say to myself during nearly every yoga class I teach.

“I really should get that blog post finished today,” runs through my mind Wednesday mornings before my newsletter goes out.

“I can’t believe I wore these earrings with this dress.”


This negative self-talk weaves its way into our minds forcing us to become aware. What if you started saying the things you say to yourself out loud to your friends? They would probably think you were being pretty mean. Why are we so hard on ourselves? People don’t worry about you as much as you think. Quite honestly, most people are stuck in their own minds worrying about their own stuff. So why are you worrying so much?


The first agreement in the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz says “be impeccable with your word.” This means speaking kindly to yourself and others. Half the things we say to ourselves aren’t even true. Are you really a horrible person because you forgot your rain jacket and it starts to pour from the sky during your bike ride? No, you’re probably just a little wet. But what we say to ourselves often becomes our words. Our words become our actions. Our actions become our reality. Having a positive reality starts with the way you think. Here are four steps to get rid of negative self talk:

1. Become aware.


First you must recognize the tendencies of the mind before you can make a change. How often do you criticize yourself? What are you really saying to yourself throughout the day. The average person has 60,000 thoughts a day. 90 percent of these are the same. Become aware of your thoughts so they can support you, not put you down.

2. Forgive yourself.


Once you become aware of yourself, it becomes time to forgive yourself for having these thoughts in the first place. Most of the time, they aren’t even true. When I mix up my right and lefts while cuing my yoga classes, what good is it going to do to keep beating myself up about it? Why do I think the students are going to think it was a horrible class for the silliest thing I forgot? The fact is, it already happened! So move forward and let it go with love.

3. Make the changes.


Now that you have become aware of your thoughts and forgiven yourself for having them, it is time to adjust them. When you notice this negative self talk starting to come up again, pause to release the thought and repeat a positive affirmation. Speak in a sense of positives such as “I am a strong yoga instructor” or “I love and approve of myself.” Remember, what you think you say, what you say you act, and what you act you attract. Have patience with yourself as you start to make these changes. Start your day off with a few positive thoughts you can read to yourself. Write them down on a piece of paper next to your bed or in your notes on your phone.

4. Reframe the belief.


Eventually your negative thoughts will be replaced with positive affirmations. When you no longer have the thought anymore, the universe might test you one more time to see if that belief is still present. When you can move past the belief and continue to have these positive experiences, the belief will have been shifted.


Try these four steps and notice if anything starts to shift in your life.


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